My Favorite Mayor

Thank You Sam Adams

Mayor, Thank you for allowing the occupy movement soo much liberty. Thank you Sam Adams, for providing security and social service at the encampments. Keeping the protesters safe as well as meeting their needs.

Thank you Sam Adams for supporting the occupy movement, speaking positively and constructively.

I recognize just a few of the challenges the Mayor’s office as well as the police and other bureaus must have in these unique times. It brings me to such gratitude for the fine work, patience and management that you have and continue to show through this added burdon of protests.

All the while, Sam Adams, you remain professional, mature and courageous.

As a parent of three kids, I truly admire the example you show us and the example you live to the community in your service.

Thank You Mayor Sam Adams.

Thank You Police Chief Mike Reese.

Thank You to ALL of the Bureau’s involved.

My Favorite Bank!

I have banked with several northwest banks and two credit unions over a period of close to 30 years. Not a finance expert by any means. I am however a consumer and have some experience with the horror stories told to me as the nightmares were unfolding at Washington Mutual not long ago.

Recently, the larger banks were the focus of protesting by occupy movements and others. One of the results of the protests were that some people were to close their accounts at big banks and instead open accounts at smaller hopefully local credit unions. I get that Ideal.

I question though, how realistic the idea of local credit unions being able to meet the needs that people have today. I mean, with all the portable devices as well as our mobility. Confidentiality. Security. Legals. Just to name a few.

I am not saying at all, that Credit Unions are a bad Idea. I do suggest that big banks play an important positive part in our communities every day as well.

Some of my worst experiences banking were at Credit Unions. I have belonged to two Credit Unions and for the most part, they were tight wads and for one reason or another were never able to really offer me the products that I was looking for at the time. Looking back at the type of consumer I was then, I think it was a sound policy on their part that they were not able to work with me. Good also, I think for the members of those Credit Unions as a collective. So, the credit union’s did not want to work with me. Nothing wrong with that, just a struggle and not a good experience for me.

While banking at US bank, I had to be very careful to follow all the rules and terms that I agreed to or literally get hundreds of dollars in fees levied against the accounts. It was while banking with US bank that I spent some time in a state that did not have a branch office within two thousand miles. I was then that I needed to open an account at Wells Fargo.

The decision to open the account at Wells Fargo has been one of the best choices I have made.

Wells Fargo has been very up front with me as to what kinds of fees, terms and benefits to the different products offered. That and Wells Fargo continues to be outstanding at suggesting products that are in my best interest. Wells Fargo continues saving me money, and has for the 5 years that I have been with them.

The employees have been splendid, whether in person or over the phone. I cannot say enough about the quality of employees there. Frankly it is nice and convenient to be able to find a branch of Wells Fargo most everywhere I travel, although I do not travel far.

The few times I have volunteered for the community, I have been pleased to see a big presence from Wells Fargo at the events. Exceptional!

My Personal experience has been very positive and I feel quite fortunate to be banking there.

What About Me?

One day I had a guy working for me, he is a practicing do it for me syndrome type. I was going on about how rough a life I had, The girls I was having sex with, money I was going through, all the money I owed blah blah blah, whining and bitching like I always did. It was a mind set for me. I believed I was in this giant mess of a life. I asked him what he thought and he gently said “Your Lucky As Hell” and went back to his work.

I was shocked! He did not know what it was like to be in my shoes and blah nah nah nah I said to myself. How dare he!

That started the most wonderful thought process for me, a way of thinking about something other than myself. Sorry if this bores you folks who are reading, but this is not information taught on the Do It For Me Syndrome bus and I want to make sure that its out there.

Hmm.. Out There Indeed!

Oh well, I will be better tomorrow.

More About Me

I have learned why I did that. I mean, made others do all the work and make decisions for me. It was so I did not have to take responsibility for my situation.

I could blame the boss that fired me, the bill collector that sued for judgment against me, or the mayor that kicked me out of the park. I can now blame them and I do not need to do the hard stuff like owning my responsibility for not doing my job or pursuing a manageable career or….

I did not have to own my responsibility for not paying my bills, or living beyond my means, or……

I did not have to take responsibility for the choices that I made.

It’s a shitty way of life, and consequently, for the most part a life of poverty.

 I did not have to do the hard things, intimidating, scary things, like make a change in myself and behavior. After all, the problem was you, my boss, the mayor, the theys.

So I spent a rotten part of my life like that. Like I said, I was born that way baby.

About Me

You will notice that I say “we” often when I write about those with the syndrome. Yup, I was born on the Do It For Me Truck. I can talk about the decades of misery always feeling like I was being picked on, or not getting my just do and how the powers that be were corrupt, exploiting me and lastly how my situation both economic, social, even emotional was someone else’s fault.

It has taken awhile but I see all the work I left to others: the hard work of making my choices for me.

All the work I added where ever I went by not applying myself to the situation. Whether it be making small talk socially or driving through a red light causing four other lanes of traffic to cope and adjust there lives to my self centered idea.

I AM THE 1%

I began thinking about how lucky I was. That thought turned to lucky as hell. Took awhile, but today I truly believe that I am indeed the wealthy, rich 1% of the world on sooo many levels. If you are born in the USA you are rich too.

Born in the U.S.A?

70-80% of the world would love to have our problems.

Have $40 in your pocket? Wealthier than most of the people of the world!

I could go on about running water – hot AND cold.

The point is that this nation has favor. Allot going for us.

Lets channel that favor to parts of the planet and people that have not been so lucky.

Our continued help to those in need, providing we are not enabling destructive behavior, at least would show a powerful example for the rest of the world. This, love and helping our fellow man, I believe is what we are truly about underneath all of the greed and self-centeredness.

Kiva is kindof fun and a way to make a difference - check it out.
I like loaning for agriculture. That way if the loan go's bad,
atleast someone will have something to eat.

Three Step's

Here are three small steps that I think can make a difference in breaking out of a do it for me mindset.

Try to leave an area better than when you found it. For example: try whipping off a messed up counter top when exiting a public restroom or picking up a piece of garbage you find in a public place and putting it in the trash. It frees up a job that someone else has to do and the next person does not have to deal with it. This takes practice but any little bit of effort and even the thought will begin to break the cycle.

Leave a big tip.

When you catch yourself blaming someone, something else for the situation you are in, ask yourself what your part is in the matter. I have found that I either have to go way back in the timeline or right to the current moment to figure out my part. It can be as simple as the way I am choosing to think about a situation that boils down to my part of it all but more often than not it was a choice that I made. Even more, I knew the risk of whatever choice if I get honest about it.

It is amazing to me how empowering this can be and I am no longer a victim of anything by owning my responsibility.

Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.
Abraham Lincoln

Good Grief

As you can see, I am having difficulty understanding. Err, explaining? No, it’s justifying the occupy movement. NO, It IS understanding. I want to understand, so I find myself analyzing the movement.

Perhaps it is grief. I mean could grief be a driving force for this occupy movement today?

That could explain to an extent the desperation, anger, attempt to to bargain and debate a better situation.

In the book Death and Dying, Ross explained the five stages of the grief process as

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Could this movement, Occupy Wallstreet be a bunch of folks that for a generation has been coasting? Through unrealistic ideals, choices, gambles, some enabling perhaps? And keeping with this grief theory I am developing here. The ride has been over and its time to peddle. But the grief over the loss of a wonderful ride has some of us sort of stuck for the moment in a state between anger and bargaining.

Heck, throw in some denial.

So, with that angle in mind, I must confess that I feel much less contempt and consider more how I treat these people. Widows and orphans after all. I feel more confident that these folks will get tired of what is not working and get to a point of acceptance and then peddle.

Cart Dumper's

Is it too much work to put the shopping cart back in its place? Does it occur to these cart dumpers that leaving a cart loose in the parking lot is a hazard to people and property at large? Not to mention all of us that get pissed off seeing this lazy – do it for me cart dumper attitude.

Look, when you use the use the shopping cart to haul your goods to your vehicle or in some cases, to your trailer or apartment building. At that time, you are in control of the cart, it is your responsibility, your job.

 When you just leave it in the middle of the parking lot, you are making others do the work. In some cases when that cart bangs into other parked cars, you have created several jobs now, and allot of grief for people that otherwise have things to do, lives to live other than explaining damages to insurance adjusters, spouses or what have you. You’re creating a burden.

Is that the point lazy cart dumper? You’re way of creating jobs, in this troubled economy?

Maybe I am on to something here:

Messy Parks, Tarps and Garbage.

Log Flume Amusement rides.

Loose Shopping Carts.

Grrrrr…

Chronic Do It For Me Syndrome!

It began in Oregon

The Original Occupy Movement started in Astoria, Oregon.

On a recent visit to Astoria, in Oregon State, I learned of a group that has been protesting and occupying the same place for years.

Asking around, I was able to find out there current location. So I got on the trolley and headed down there.

Upon arriving, I could see these occupy protesters were loud and intimidating. These grand daddies of the occupy movement had taken over several walkways and did not look like they were going anywhere.

I asked a couple who were there taking pictures, how long this protest has been going on and what are the occupation protests demands? Most importantly, where are the cops, I mean these were obviously harassing and dangerous thugs endangering themselves as well as the public. Besides that, the property owners that need the walkways to access their property are unable to, due to the occupiers blocking all access.

I was told that this particular Occupy Astoria movement has been ongoing since at least 1998 and that their demand is that there proposal for the 8^th street Log Flume ride (whatever that is) be allowed a hearing at city council. To this date they have yet to get their hearing. So here they remain and will remain until they are heard.

But where are the Astoria Police? During each of my visits, I had not seen any sign of any Police. My understanding is that the occupy protesters are trapped and relocated every so often. Relentlessly, these occupy protesters come back but in slightly smaller numbers. Then in a short period of time they again re populate and fill the space.

 Effectively, the police in the City of Astoria keep a hands off approach, Leaving largely the issue of managing this occupation to the Department of Wildlife and Game.

Despite the complaints of noise and rough housing and protesters blocking the walkways for at least 13 years, these protesters are allowed to occupy Astoria.

It appears to be working and has remained a peaceful albeit noisy occupation. According to the locals, pepper spray has never been needed or used when dealing with the protesters .

Criminal Minds

It’s criminal and anti-social in a way. Bernie Madoff and other criminals make a huge mess and force everyone else involved to deal with it. Heck, even bringing more folks in to try to put the pieces back together.

Is the syndrome simply summed up as self-centeredness?

Have we regressed back to that?

If so, self-centeredness sucks and I want to see us move on from it.

I want to know that we have  evolved or matured as a society to a better way. A way of life, that we own our responsibilities. Relieving others of the work in sorting out the details. Think of the free time and creativity that can be released when other people don’t have to wipe our asses every few hours, so to speak and thus allowing folks that time and energy to do their own thing.

Be right with yah hun

I have got to leave the Occupy Movement topic, set that down for a moment.

Try to speak to another aspect of Do It For Me Syndrome, and how we can make everyone else do the work.

Sadistically – we can create more work for people to do.

Refusing to make small talk on an elevator or when sharing a park bench or participating in a group function. We with the syndrome do not put out the effort or apply ourselves to get along, contribute or otherwise help the other person or the rest of the group. We leave it to someone else to do all the work. Do it for me.

Some of us will even neglect our responsibilities, like keeping our children under control. Forcing others to awkwardly look after and protect them.

Raising little jobs for people to do. My heart really goes out to school teachers out there that are expected to parent as well as teach children of families that have Parents with Do It For Me Syndrome.

People with the syndrome tend to leave messes where ever they go. Again, creating little jobs for others to do.

Freaze Hippie!

Why am I soo F*%#ing annoyed with the occupy movement!? I think what frustrates me, my annoyance. I try to get my mind on board with the idea. After all, some of our greatest moments as a country evolved from protests and standing for rights we believed we deserved. I believe the Boston Tea Party for example or the Freedom Riders movement have helped form this nation into what it is today. 

That said, I have not had any luck at all in feeling empathy or support for the occupy movement. I read, I listen and I watch for their message and I am only left to feel a bit resentful towards the movement. I guess that is my frustration – I can’t tolerate resentment.

For the most part, the occupy movements have the Syndrome and here’s proof.

(1) The parks. Absolutely trashing the parks.

(2) Forcing the cities, states to pick up the tab for policing, restoration and social services. Do it for me, clean my mess up, and protect my rights.

(3) Seeming not to give much thought to the Burdon the communities already have at this time.

(4) Not giving much thought as to the capacity of these municipalities.

I have not heard one thank you from this movement to the mayors or powers that be, nor have I seen any movement to go back and restore the parks.

Nope, make someone else thank the mayor and force yet someone else to plan, implement, PAY FOR and manage the cleanup of the parks. Do it for me.

When all that I read in the media or their web sites is this and that is unfair, we are getting screwed. Our street, our parks etc. etc.

Sorry Occupy Movement, I cannot get myself to take you seriously. Looks like a bunch of bitching to most people.

Here is what I need in order begin to take you seriously, occupy movement:

CLEAN UP THE PARKS THAT YOU DAMAGED

That’s all.

You don’t even have to thank the Mayor.

Then get on with the movement. Please continue after all, these types of things make our country great.

I look forward to learning more, understanding, accepting and even supporting the movement. I just need to see a little more of what we can do for our country and less of what the country can do for us.


For now, right now Occupy, you have the syndrome.


And yes, I will make time to clean up your mess and send money to the various parks systems to offset the cost of restoration. My hope is my resentment will evolve to something more positive toward the movements.

The Scourge

I have wanted to write about this subject for several years after having a realization, a revelation that I am annoyed with a certain characteristic that some people embrace as a lifestyle.

Once Identified, I began to notice this characteristic seems to run amok in our society here in the USA.

It is a characteristic that people have that seems to imply that the world owes them something. It’s the attitude of entitlement.

I have coined the characteristic as:

Do It For Me Syndrome

It takes on many forms, and I wish to explore it here in this blog as way that I can bitch about it, learn more as I write and hopefully not be so annoyed, be more accepting.

In the event visitors to this blog actually find interest in the subject and perhaps offer feedback, I would appreciate it of course and respond within a day or two. My hope is discovery and solutions to the syndrome. Sure, maturity comes to mind as a solution but I have found that maturity is only part of it. My hope  is this writing and comments can help the solution along as well.

Thank you for visiting. I will post more tomorrow.